In this instance, I am not referring to the meaning of "to go and die".
A few years ago, Simon once told me that in a relationship or work, it is like flying a kite. You must know when to pull and let go. If you pull too tight, the kite will snap but if u let go too much, it may get caught somewhere. Hmm....
Recently, Simon told me, " Girl, do you know your kite still need a string to be attached on to it?" I just smiled and nodded but deep inside, my heart ached at that very moment.
Flying a kite is not a second nature to me. Sometimes i pull too tight, sometimes i let go too much. Sometimes, I am just at the verge of giving up and feel like letting go of the kite totally... but whenever i have the thought of that, i will remind myself.. baby steps. Mastering does not take seconds but months to years to be good at it. Patience is the key to success..
Sometimes, I doubt if I am putting enough effort to handle a kite. My answer is usually yes .. but too much.. so much so that I am exhausted by the end of the day and still wondering if I should continue trying. However, my heart always tells me to hang on and keep trying.
It is not easy to be me. I have alot of things to juggle in life. And your next question is "can't you prioritise?" I do love to do that but I can't because all are important to me. If I don't multitask now, when can i multitask. Who I want to be in the future is contributed by how I train myself to be today. Hence, I suck it up and hang on.. what I wish for is to have someone to be there for me.. to understand why I am doing that instead of giving up on me. However, it takes more than one hand to make a sound, to make things work. I can only hope my effort and hardship are worthwhile and if all things fail, I can tell myself I have tried my very best and i live without regret.
Sometimes I wonder who truly understand what is in my mind. When I am tired.. can you see it in my eyes without me saying it? When I am smiling, can you see the tears in my heart? When I am crying, can you see my heart shattering into pieces.. I wish to be strong .. but I am not sure how much energy I have left to hang on.. It's just not easy to be me...
way i am ♥
.Lenia Teo.
.23rd Feb 1984.
.Pisces.
.Physiotherapist.
New Year Resolution♥
1. Career advancement (be more effiicient)
2. Sprint Tri & biathlon
3. Driving
4. Diving
5. Sleep before 12am
