Tuesday, June 24, 2008
i smiled at 1:22 AM.
Pursuit of Happiness(extracted from the straits times online (15 June08)-an article from sumiko tan)
"I have been happy the past five weeks playing the role of yummy mummy to my niece and nephew visiting from the United States.
I took leave from work for three of those weeks and managed to fulfil every aspect of my motherhood fantasy.
There I was, tottering in my four-inch heels as I ushered them around town, to the malls, to the Singapore Flyer, Night Safari, Sentosa and Kallang ice-skating rink.
The kids - she's 10 and he's five - were gratifyingly cute.
('Aunty Shoes, I'm not an artist. You can't expect me to draw everything,' Josh said when I asked him if he could draw a picture of me. He prefers drawing army tanks and planes.And when I asked him to fetch something for me, he looked at me sternly and declared: 'Aunty Shoes, this is not National Lazy Day.')
Two nights before they left, they came up with The Goodbye Show, a performance in six acts which the girl, Michiko, wrote.
Using the curtain of the balcony as a stage curtain, Act 1 had Josh starring in The Silly Show - he showed off his craziest monkey faces.
This was followed by poems about Singapore written and recited by the girl, a story about a dog they found wandering in the neighbourhood, more poems, and a song about their holiday here.
They were hilarious.But me being a happy yummy mummy-aunty is just half the story.
The other half wasn't that pretty.I had looked forward to their visit and had expected to be happy all those five weeks, but that wasn't to be.
There were stretches when being with the kids bored me to death, when their company made me feel plain fatigued, when I was irritated and angry with them, and when I wished I was back at work.
The first 20, 30, times they called me 'Aunty Shoes' - their nickname for me - was sweet. But when they started every sentence with it and when they kept badgering me to 'play' with them when I was busy, it got trying.
The first few times they threw a tantrum, I found that adorable and gave in to their every sulk. But when the bad behaviour was played out day after day, I had to fight the urge to scream at them.
I was both sad and relieved when they finally went home last Tuesday.
Their visit led me to several conclusions:
When a dream comes true, you don't always get the happiness you thought would come with it;
Happiness is not something you can feel every moment of the day;
Happiness comes in small doses, so just be grateful for that;
It's pointless to wish for a Big Happiness because it won't happen;
Perhaps happiness is overrated.
Like most people, everything I do, everything I hope for and everything I regret, hinges on the pursuit of personal happiness..
The trick perhaps is to learn to live for the moment and appreciate what you have.
It is hard to be happy when you are stuck in the past or the future.
It is hard to be happy when you chase after happiness, forgetting that,
hey, it could well be right there, staring at you!!!
